Their Song Of Lament
by poohxebony
Summary: Why can't she finally open her eyes and see what's beside her? Why does he wait for something he knows he probably can't have, but will protect no matter what? KainxRuka, slightly KainxRukaxKaname moments. Songfic.
1. Finding What's Missing

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**Hey there again! I finally made a RukaxAkatsuki fanfic of my own for once. I hope ya'll like it. By the way, certain parts in the story will give off some spoilers from the manga and anime series. So for those who haven't yet finished the show, you've been warned when reading this.

The song fics are from Evanescence and 3 Doors Down, which are one of my favorite lyrics from the two artists. They fit the characters perfectly, especially Ruka on her part. And I hope you feel the same way too. So please read, review, and enjoy ;)

**DISCLAIMER:**Once again, Vampire Knight, the characters, and the two songs don't belong to me, blah, blah, blah….

* * *

*_Please, please forgive me_

_But I won't be home again_

_Maybe someday you'll have woke up_

_And barely conscious, you say to no one_

_Isn't something missing?……*_

Ruka stares at the red full moon, standing by the huge elegant window of her bedroom. She hugs herself from the cool air, the breeze gently brushing past her cascading honey brown hair. Her dusky rose eyes show a sense of wonder and sadness from her train of thoughts. She sighs regrettably. It was a tranquil, yet lonely night. It's always like this. And so is the pain. That seemingly irreplaceable, aching feeling is always there, lingering within the smallest core of Ruka's fragile heart. As much as she tries to fight the pain, it remains as a never ending battle.

She feels it whenever she sees him. She feels it whenever she sees _her _with him. And the twisted heartache worsens whenever she witness the two purebloods' loving embrace, locked in each other's eyes with such devotion and sincerity. Ruka hates those moments more than anything else from them.

Because at the end of the day, she has to face the harsh reality that it isn't her in his strong arms. In her beloved Kaname-Sama's eyes, she is not that girl he's gazing at with awe and admiration right then and there. And obviously never will be.

*_You won't cry for my absence, I know_

_You forgot me long ago_

_Am I that unimportant?_

_Am I so insignificant?_

_Isn't something missing?_

_Isn't someone missing me?*_

Ruka knows she needed to move on and let go. She needs to release herself from this kind of torment she endures everyday. She needs to be happy for them as closure, and she wants to be. But that doesn't stop her from questioning on why she's not the fortunate one. Why? Why couldn't she win?

She may show a form of acknowledgement to her new pureblood princess, the human-turned-vampire Yuuki Cross, but she hasn't completely got over the deep grudge against her either. Ruka still secretly feels this way, only not as hateful due to respect. After all, the girl was always a mystery to her disliking as well as interference with her love life. Ruka never understood how the mortal held a special place in her leader's heart, the places she was unable to fill herself. Ruka Souen, a divining beauty of the night---suffering from envy over a mere, weak little human. How despicable.

My, how the tables have turned in Ruka's favor is beyond her. She never would have dreamed to discover Yuuki was meant to be born into their vampiric world. Worst of all, she's truly the other half of Kaname-Sama, his biological sister after all these years. She is one of her kind now, even more superior. She is Ruka's equal by beauty, grace, youth, and nobility. In other words, the little princess has the opportunity to steal Ruka's dream. She has won his love, and will spend joyous eternity not as his sister, but chosen soul mate. This sickens Ruka more. Does this mean she has been defeated by a human girl? Is her existence no longer an importance to her Kaname-Sama? She finally realize that this dream is one that will never come true for her.

*_Even though I'd be sacrificed_

_You won't cry for me, not now_

_Though I'd die to know you love me_

_I'm all alone_

_Isn't someone missing me?_

_Please, please forgive me_

_But I won't be home again_

_I know what you do to yourself_

_Shudder deep and cry out_

_Isn't something missing?Isn't someone missing me?*_

Ruka sometimes wish she was a kid again. How relief it would be to go back and be small, being protected and catered by others rather than handling hardships and obstacles herself. Such concepts in life holds no real meaning for a little girl to think about. Whether she is born vampire or not, she is a woman first. A woman with dreams, needs, wants…and freedom.

But the main reason she wish to go back in time is to relive the precious moments they spent together as children. The only thing that distracts Ruka from her depression is whenever she thinks about the past. Those were wonderful memories. Their first encounter changed Ruka's world forever. The dark chocolate brown hair, those gorgeous blood wine eyes, his angelic posture and demeanor….she was mesmerized by them all. Not even her childhood friends couldn't surpass his godly presence. As much as she loved her friends, it was only him she wanted to build a lifetime journey with.

Was it obsession back then? No, it was real love. Even as a child, Ruka understood her feelings for Kaname-Sama. She always did. Her love for him was just as real and powerful than those foolish Day Class girls' could ever be. She pledged her entire soul to him, making him proud of having a strong, beautiful companion by his side. The past was the time when they focused on their close friendship, when he had eyes set only for her alone, when he believed no other woman could make him complete other than her.

The past was also the time when there was never a Yuuki Cross.

Ruka stops her daydreaming and frowns. It was selfish and a little wicked of her to that this way. But it is true. Occasionally, Ruka does wish that Yuuki had never been born. If she had never existed, if she had never entered Kaname-Sama's life, then maybe, just maybe---the two would become the item she knows they're meant to be. She would win instead.

But the fact that she does have these menacing thoughts scares her at the same time. Does this make her an ugly person? Has her envy turned her into this spiteful creature, a person of shame and greed this whole time? Or is this natural? Jealously is a part of nature, Ruka knows this much. Everyone holds some kind of envy in their hearts, human and vampire alike. But if these feelings are what changed her way of thinking, they have definitely transformed her image for some time now.

Never do she wants people to see the hideous side of her, especially not to Kaname-Sama. Just what would he think of her now if he was to see such weakness? She's an aristocrat for God's sake! She has been admired as a beauty goddess her whole life. Well. She sure didn't feel that way now. Ruka closes her eyes and takes a breath, fighting to hold the tears at bay. She truly is a pathetic person…..

*_Even though I'd be sacrificed_

_You won't cry for me, not now_

_Though I'd die to know you love me_

_I'm all alone_

_Isn't someone missing me?*_

Ruka reopens her eyes after centering herself and stares into nothingness outside. She wonders if Kaname-Sama ever thinks about the past too. She wonders if he cherish the bonds they shared together as kids, the friendship they've created. She seriously doubts it. With Yuki Kuran in his life for eternity, he has erased those memories by his blindness of love for the 'little princess'. That is what she is to him now. A forgotten memory, and nothing more. This is the truth she would have to live through until the end of her immortal days.

But despite everything in the past, Ruka still remembers other good moments with her friends. They were the ones that came into her life first. From the joy of teasing Hanabusa, to trying out those disgusting (to her) pocky snacks with Rima and Shiki for the first time, to building tall sand castles with Akatuski.

Akatsuki……

Another twisted feeling suddenly builds inside Ruka's chest when mentioning the tall, red haired vampire. But why? Yes, Akatsuki is her best friend, the only one she's closest to since they were little. He's always there over her shoulder, whether or not she's in the mood for company. But because of Akatsuki's company, Ruka has her 'comfort blanket' to run to from the roughest days, particularly the rejections from Kaname-Sama.

What does he do? He responds to the embracing hugs, never flinching or pulling away. He listens to her sobs or anger or despair, never interrupting. He recognizes her various emotions faster than others, never blind or ignorant. He continues being by her side, watching over her, moving forward instead of looking back. Never regretting. And it is all for her. Akatsuki just seems so strong that way. The very amazing strength that Ruka appreciates everyday, truly she does. She just doesn't find the courage to say them out loud or to him directly. What a friend he is indeed. And yet….

What does _she _do in return? No, more like what _can _she do anyway? Just what can she offer Akatsuki with her helplessness? Ruka knows she doesn't have the same strength to fulfill her part of their friendship because of the depressing state she is in. Is that the reason why she never tries furthering herself to do so, even though she desperately wants to? Every now and then, she ask herself why Akatsuki puts up with her pathetic antics and arrogant, short-tempered attitude for years. She didn't deserve a good friend like him.

More importantly, since when did Ruka started feeling different on the thought of him? Where did all this uneasiness come from? Of course, she cares for him, but now the feeling is a little more--mutual. Definitely not in the friendly manner. Still, that was impossible. Ruka only feels this uneasiness from her love for only Kaname-Sama. Now this feeling is heading toward Akatsuki? What does this mean? This has to be some kind of silly infatuation because of her loneliness and nothing more.

Or could this be a feeling of new love? Oh, God no……..

*_And if I bleed, I'll bleed_

_Knowing you don't care_

_And if I sleep just to dream of you_

_And wake without you there_

_Isn't something missing?_

_Isn't something……?*_

Is that it? Is this the reason why she feels this uncomfortable pressure? Has she finally started to see that she's falling in love with her best friend now? Ruka puts her hand over her head, for she was beginning to feel dizzy. The confusing emotions are having a great toll over her senses. What is she doing to herself? Is she trying to put herself through more confusing agony? She knows how the two of them feel for each other, never further than that. Or has it been a long time ago? Ruka has been chasing someone else for so long to even notice.

And if that's the case…could this possibly change their relationship for the better? Or destroy it? Is it a good idea to go to the next step with him, if she has the audacity to do so now? Is this a sign for her to officially move on from the heartache and aim for something--or _someone--_new? Could she possibly do that without feeling she's betraying her undying love for Kaname-Sama? This is all too much to bear.

Besides, Ruka is completely unaware of Akatsuki's real thoughts about her. Surely, he doesn't feel that way to an extent, no doubt about that. Why would he? As mentioned before, there is absolutely nothing she would be able to give him if she did had the nerve to start a commitment with him. She would only cost more grief and misery. She doesn't want to inflict that kind of burden on him. He deserves better. It's not like she's afraid of what kind of person he'll turn out to be in the future. Akatsuki is wonderful in his own way, in more ways than one. That would never change. She just want the best for him too. He's done enough for her.

Oh yes, Akatsuki deserves so much more. He deserves to have a life of his own to experience and grow from. He needs someone that could make him feel the happiest man alive; someone who can stand on her own two feet, who can hold her head up high, who doesn't let foolish emotions get the best of her, who has her own backbone. He needs a girl who can protect him in the same way, and have her whole heart set for who he is alone. And that very same girl---can no longer be her. Ruka sees that now. No matter how much she might want to, she won't be able to grant those wishes for him. She's too weak. If only there was an easier way to tell Akatsuki to stop wasting time with her and move forward for his sake. It's for the best.

But if and when Akatsuki's ready to make that decision….could she forget about him precisely? Is there a small part of her that wouldn't want to see him go so fast? She wants him to be happy. So what the hell is she still trying to hold on to? Why is this uneasiness still happening in the subconscious of her mind? Why can't all this confusion just go away? Will this cruel game of love ever end?! Ruka mentally screams these questions to herself, trying to find the right answer to all of them. Until something makes her freeze and gazes back into her childhood memories again.

She's going back in time. She sees flashbacks of her and Akatsuki laughing together on the swings in the playground, working as a team building their sand castles, playing their endless game of tag, pulling off their hilarious prank of putting make-up on Adiou when sleeping, him caring for her wound when she scraped her knee, walking together side by side when entering Cross Academy, studying homework together, running to his chest and crying in front of him for the first time, taking his hand when he held it out for her at the dance, saving her life when the possessed Shiki almost assaulted her, still protecting her when fighting against Rido Kuran. And _still_ over her shoulder when everyone left and followed the Pureblood Prince and Princess. Every path she took, he was always there. Always there…always there…always there….always there……. End of flash back.

A tear finally sheds down on her cheek. She now knows the answer.

*_Even though I'd be sacrificed_

_You won't cry for me, not now_

_Though I'd die to know you love me_

_I'm all alone……_

She gets it now. The memories helps her find the answer, the answer she should have known all along. She _is _in love with him. He's the one. Ruka had been so blind to see that Akatsuki is her true soul mate. She had taken the left turn for all these years, wasting her energy on the pureblood who didn't take a second thought of looking at her. She should have made the right turn. And find what was waiting for her the entire time. Instead, she treated him as a substitute for her purposes, a puppet without taking consideration for his feelings. A mere 'comfort blanket' he was treated alright.

Comfort blanket. Was that all he was to her?

More tears starts to pour down on her sorrowful face, releasing the pain she's been hiding freely. She doesn't care anymore. Her tears also speak for her. She curls herself into a ball at the corner of her dark room and rocking. The world seems to crumble over her, which describes how belittled she feels right now. Nothing can save her. The fact that Ruka only causes more pain to those around her without noticing makes her a curse to be reckoned with.

She never meant to cause Akatsuki more pain and loneliness by her unacknowledgement. He doesn't deserve her friendship, or kindness, or this newfound love she feels for him now. She makes up her mind that she loves him and doesn't regret it. Her mind is telling her to stand up, go to him, and make the final move that would close the gap between them forever. But she knows she's doing the right thing by not doing so, whether it's her bleeding heart telling her otherwise. If this is an act of love for him, then it's what she would do. It's the least she can do. He must go on and seek someone else to heal his loneliness. And she needs to accept the day when he might disappear out of her life for good.

_Isn't something missing?_

"Forgive me. Akatsuki", Ruka whispers in the dark. "Forgive me for everything". She's just meant to be alone. But maybe it's better this way. Everyone has found one another. Her beloved Kaname-Sama has Yuuki, Shiki has Rima, Aidou has Yori, Takuma has Seiren. And when the day comes, she gurantees that Akatsuki will have his right beloved.

She closes her eyes, letting the tears still fall down and shakes herself to sleep. If she could, she would never open her eyes again, never to return to the reality of another tomorrow.

_Isn't someone missing me?……*_

If she was to disappear from the world tomorrow, would there be someone missing her? It's a question that is probably better left unsaid and answered.

* * *

**END NOTE:** Well, that's it for this chapter. What do you guys think so far? That poor Ruka girl….she needs a hug. So does the character in the next and last chapter. But before you move on to ch. 2, please review this one first. Let me know what y'all think!


	2. What and What Not To Let Go

_*One more kiss could be the best thing_

_Or one more lie could be the worst_

_And all these thoughts are never resting_

_And you're not something I deserve*_

He stares at the ceiling in deep thought while lying on his bed, both hands behind his head. He thinks about everything that has changed over a year ago now. Sometimes, he still finds it hard to believe, though he doesn't mind going with the flow about it. From discovering who Yuuki Cross truly was, to adapting that she is the new Pureblood Princess, to fighting in battle against Rido Kuran with his friends in order to protect Cross Academy…. All of those things came with a blink of an eye back then. Well, at least the war is finally over between them and that sadistic pureblood. For Akatsuki, new changes don't take a serious effect on him so easily.

Now he finds himself traveling with his friends and the two remaining purebloods. This is where he's residing right now, at the old Kuran mansion. It's not like he feels awkward about living with them and his friends under the same roof, or anything. He just wonders what new path Kaname-Sama will lead them to next. When they will return to Cross Academy and start over, he doesn't know. Until otherwise, all he can do is make the best of his time with everyone right now. After all, someone has to keep an eye on his idiotic cousin, Hanabusa.

Growing bored from staring, Akatsuki decides to get up and leave his large room to take a walk outside. He could use some fresh air while walking alone on the mansion grounds, clearing his thoughts about the future. He grabs his jacket, and heads for the door.

*_In my head, there's only you now_

_This world falls on me_

_In this world, there's real and make believe_

_And this seems to me…*_

It was a comfortable, quiet night as Akatsuki took a stroll around the gardens in the back of the mansion. He takes a good view of the glowing red full moon, the moon of blood for the vampires. Surprising or not, he finds it enjoyable to gaze at the moon. The moon often brings back memories, memories from the past. Although he doesn't focus about those moments on a daily basis, it doesn't mean that he has forgotten about them. Showing feelings is also not his thing, unless situations involve himself or the lives of his friends. He prefers to keep a cool head and not waste energy when unnecessary. Besides, it keeps his 'wild-bad-boy' image in check, even though his calm, laid-back demeanor is far from it. Funny how some people are compared with such ridiculous stereotypes.

Akatsuki continues walking so more, until he spots a figure standing by the window on top of the third floor. He recognizes the beautiful, familiar, figure completely. Ruka Souen. None other but his longtime best friend-and longtime crush since the very beginning. He just stands there at the side of the mansion, watching her looking out at the moon without her noticing his presence at all. Was she just enjoying the good weather tonight as well? Knowing Ruka, some things are more to it than ordinary expectations coming from a young woman like her. Judging by the solemn expression on her face, Akatsuki immediately knew what was on her mind right then and there.

He closes his eyes and smirks. No matter what, she still wishes that she would have had a future with _him_ instead of the Pureblood Princess. She never changes. Akatsuki would think that Ruka has improved a little and found closure when traveling with them, when realizing her childish infatuations for Kaname-Sama over a year now, just a little. Then again, he probably doesn't expect anything different from her after everything that happened.

Or does he?

*_You love me, but you don't know who I am_

_I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand_

_You love me, but you don't know who I am_

_So let me go, let me go_

_I dream ahead to what I hope for_

_And I turn my back on loving you_

_How can this love be a good thing?_

_If I know what I'm going through?*_

Like he said, he doesn't expect anything different from her at all. Why would he anyway? It's not like he has that one, amazing healing power to release her from the pathetic state she sets herself in. No matter how much he always desperately wanted to. Honestly, this game of romantic hopelessness is truly becoming exhausting, even for him. Akatsuki knows that Ruka must feel the same way too. He also knows that she still can't find the strength to get herself quitting the game.

Maybe he was wrong about saying Ruka's behavior was just some infatuation. It was more than that. He knows that it has been something cherish able and serious for Ruka to deal with for some time. He knows what kind of real pain she put herself through because of these strong feelings for Kaname-Sama. This is why it's going to take her more than a year to recover from this. And not just recovering from him, but from the hatefulness she held towards the former little human girl. Not that Akatsuki could blame her. Stuff like this isn't something that can be fixed overnight. Maybe she's adjusting to the new changes around here too. He's just…so damn sick and tired of having to see Ruka go through with this. Especially since the whole equation doesn't involve with him only.

He leans against the concrete wall at the side of the house with his hands resting in his pockets, picking up Ruka's scent to know that she's still by her window outside. He goes into wondering again. How long has it been now since the two of them gone through with this? How long has it been since he stood around, watching her mourn over someone that isn't hers? Since they were children? Babies? No, these obstacles didn't go back that far with them. In fact, there were of course great times when they were kids together. Before life became a challenging board of chess to worry about, before emotions became fragile to cater while growing up, the past was a time when they could act free without a care in the world. And they did those things-together. Unintentionally, Akatsuki finds himself thinking of memories again.

_*In my head, there's only you now_

_This world falls on me_

_In this world, there's real and make believe_

_And this seems real to me…*_

He's flashing back to when him and Ruka first met as children. It wasn't love at first sight for him, since he didn't understand such things at the time and neither did she. But there was something that gave him a warmth in his chest when he set eyes on her. Unmistakably, she sure was a sight than other girls he was acquainted with. That short, fairly honey brown hair, those pure, lovely dusky rose eyes that twinkled with innocence and playfulness. Akatsuki even remembers how her creamy, delicate skin shined under the moonlight as a child like it does now.

But it was the bonds that made their past treasure able. As much as he enjoyed the quality time with Hanabusa and the rest of his friends, his and Ruka's collaboration brought out something more special. That very same partnership was what made it irreplaceable to his relationships with others. It was mainly him and her on everything they did; whether it was building sand castles in their sand box, taking turns swinging each other in the playground, pulling off humiliating pranks on Hanabusa, even stepping on each other's toes while waltz practicing…all those experiences meant something to him. It was as if time had stopped and they were the only ones in the world. And he liked it that way.

That was when Akatsuki's undying promise to her began. He sees that now. That was when he made the decision to be by her side, and never leaving her astray. He had pledged to shield her against the world if need be, proudly become her 'vampire knight' from all who dares to endanger her without any regrets. If he needed to train another two hundred years to be strong enough to protect her, he would do so. Even make the ultimate sacrifice if it ever came down to it.

More importantly, Ruka saw that promise within him as well. That was when she acknowledged him there with her, sensing that she must have meant something special to him. He wanted her to know and feel happy that he had only eyes for her, and her alone. He wanted her to know that she truly was something remarkable as her own person, and doesn't need to change for nothing else. All was well in the past because life was simple and sweet with her. He sighs and runs a hand through his red tousled hair. If only they were kids again….

That is until _he _came into the picture. Unfortunately.

_*You love me, but you don't know who I am_

_I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand_

_You love me, but you don't know who I am_

_So let me go, just let me gooooo…_

_Let me go…*_

To be honest, Akatsuki used to wish that they haven't known Kaname-Sama, that he had never existed in the first place. He knows very well never to say these thoughts out loud, for it would seem like an act of treason. But was it a crime after all? No, for it only spoke the truth. As his right-hand man, he holds the up most respect towards his leader and friend, but it doesn't change the fact that Kaname-Sama is the source to Ruka's despair of love. And that's the part that pisses him off the most. What makes matters worse is that Kaname-Sama is completely unaware of his role for Ruka, and obviously never cared.

But because the pureblood prince has entered into their lives, that was when the gap between him and Ruka started to spread. Because of his incredibly manipulative, hypnotic presence, Kaname-Sama cased his spell of seduction, making her turn her head the other direction from him. Akatsuki would never forget his first-time feeling of jealousy, perhaps anger towards them. He felt as if something was pulling him back to keep him from reaching her. Everything else picked up from there.

Ever since then, Ruka kept turning the other direction from wherever Akatsuki stood, no longer showing that same acknowledgment like before. That newfound naivety turned her into a new person, made her chased after something that she was too blind to see wasn't meant for her to have. And in all those times he stood and watches her go, a part of him says to run after them, grab her by the arms and shake her out of her foolish senses. A part of him says to 'fight' Kaname-Sama and take back what's his. As he looks back on that now, he wonders why he never did so in the first place. Was he afraid? A coward? Weak? If only Akatsuki knew the answer a long time ago, he would've been snapped Ruka out of it by now.

Or was it that he thought it was the right thing to do? By not causing more stress for her sake? By just being there if and when she's ready for a shoulder to cry on? After all, that's what he's been doing up until now, right? Always being there whenever she comes back with her tail between her legs, embracing the hugs, and hearing the never-ending rubbish for not declaring Kaname-Sama. That is their relationship now. No longer having that committed partnership. She, the lost damsel in distress. And he, the loyal following lap dog.

Akatsuki smirks again. The following lap dog. Is that what he is to her now? It sure looks that way, doesn't it?

_*And no matter how hard I try_

_I can't escape these things inside_

_I know, I know*-_

So why is this still happening? Why is he still here? If the whole world was to know his situation with Ruka right now, he would hear voices everywhere telling him to do the one thing that could have saved him from the envy-leave. He would hear that he needed to set his eyes on something different in his life, something better. It would be the only way to escape this tiring torment and see new horizons with new people. As much as he hates to admit it…it was true. Akatsuki knows he doesn't need to put up with this mess forever. When will this ridiculous cat-and-mouse game for Ruka ever end? Is this the reason why he's traveling with everyone? To see what new destination lies ahead for him wherever Kaname-Sama will lead them? And if so, is that what he would want? Would he be ready?

Would it be the best-for her?

Akatsuki frowns as he looks down at the ground. Maybe it would be best if he, if neither both of them, try to make the next step. He doesn't want to jeopardize whatever spark is left in their relationship as it is. Besides, he knows without a doubt that Ruka could never snap out it and finally see him the way he wants her to. So why bother waiting around so more, hoping for that miracle to come true? It's nothing but a dream, just a stupid dream that he's holding onto. He seriously needs to take a different route and move forward, find that someone who loves him for him, his own individuality. Is it right to feel this way about the two of them now?

He's done all he can for Ruka, and is afraid nothing can help her now. He can never be the Kaname-Sama she wants him to be and never will, filling up those empty places in her broken heart. Perhaps in the end, he's still not strong enough to do so. So for the sake of love, or whatever he should call it, he needs to let that dream go. He needs to let her go. And she needs to do the same for him. Not like she ever felt some kind of love for him anyways. He is just a _friend_, a 'comfort blanket'. That does sound right. What a disgrace.

So his mind is telling him to turn his heel and start something new-but his heart is telling him to stay where he is now. Why can't he build the strength to turn his heel? Why can't he find himself walking away? What's holding him down to stay where he is now, with the same people that he's known his entire life? Why does he feel that a part of him he'll be abandoning if turning Ruka away? Why does he still feel that she's a part of his soul?

There it goes. Flashbacks of her face hits Akatsuki again, sending him back in time of the memories. And then he smiles. Oh. Now he knows the answers-

_*But all the pieces fall apart_

_You will be the only one_

_Who knows, who knnnooowwwsss…_

_You love me, but you don't know who I am_

_I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand_

_You love me, but you don't know who I am_

_So let me go, just let me go!*_

It's her. It's always been her. No matter how life puts it, Ruka is obviously born to be the other half of him. And that truth is what keeps him alive and going every day. Leaving Ruka would be betraying his love for her, as well as breaking his promise. He can never do that to her, not now at a time like this. Even though he never hear her say it, even though she doesn't tell him in person herself, she does need him. Her desperate, pleading eyes screams for help whenever she runs into his arms and cry against his chest. This final realization has opened his mind into the next level. He needs to keep fighting for her. And he has decided-that he will continue to do so.

Some people would say that a powerful creature of the night like him deserves a soul mate with benevolence, strength, and spirit. A girl who can stand her own ground, who holds her strong, beautiful head high with undying dignity, and can grant the same strength to her significant other and to the rest of her loved ones. They would say that he needs a soul mate that can make him feel the happiest being alive and complete.

Heh. Akatsuki doesn't need anyone else. Because he already has that. All of those elements are still within her. He knows it, and so does she. She only needs to be reminded again. All the more reason why he's not throwing the towel away just yet.

_*You love me, but you don't _

_You love me, but you don't_

_You love me, but you don' know who I am*-_

And so, he will walk until the ends of the earth with her. He will wait until the end of days for her to open those eyes, and go back to the 'right direction' again. And if she truly comes back to that direction, it would be just be like how it used to be. Him and her, against the world. And this time, Akatsuki promises himself to grow stronger to win back what's his. They belong together. He feels it in his slightest gut. In time, she will finally notice that as well.

Akatsuki looks up at the moon a final time. He's no longer picking up Ruka's scent by her window. He walks over to the side of her balcony, only to see that she disappeared and went back in her room. Showing another grin, he shakes his head slowly and heads back into the house. Silly girl, he thinks to himself. She'll see soon enough. In the meantime, he now knows his place. He'll continue pursuing whatever destiny holds for him in this new chapter of life. If this is a cat-and-mouse game won't end any sooner, then let it be a game for them to endure together. Then and only then Akatsuki will reach the peak on being the winner. All in the name of love indeed-

*_You love me, but you don't_

_You love me, but you don't_

_You love me, but you don't know me*_

Hell. It is worth a try.

**THE END**


End file.
